Overheard...

Because he's he's like a decade younger than me, that's why... And he's smokin' hot. I've got a better chance with the gay guy I propositioned at the PTA meeting last night.

Happy Birthday to Me

So I had a couple of extra minutes this morning, and I told JJ that my first birthday wish today was to snuggle in my favorite chair with my baby. Most awesome offspring that he is, he crawled up onto my lap and let me rock with him for a few minutes.

..... ..... .....

Tonight, after everything died down, I told JJ that I had one last birthday wish. "We're going to snuggle in the chair again, aren't we?" he asked.

"Of course," I told him.

"Let me get my blankie..." he sighed.

So, for the second glorious time today, I got to rock with the most amazing kid on the planet. And a short while later, as I carried my sleeping boy up to bed, I realized he granted another wish I hadn't even made.

Prepare to fight!

JJ has an ever-growing collection of fascinating little characters called Skylanders. I won't bore you (or me) with the back story... Suffice to say, they are a brilliant marketing ploy designed to get the exasperated parents of persistent children to fork over large sums of cash in exchange for pieces of plastic that require even more expensive pieces of plastic in order to work. So JJ has about ten of these little buggers... And tonight, as I was preparing dinner, at my darling son's direction, they staged a war against me.

Carefully, JJ brought his box of Skylanders from the den to the kitchen doorway. One by one, he gently and lovingly removed each figure from its cardboard home, greeted it by name, and placed it on the floor facing me. Once everyone was in place, JJ moved the box to the side, and pointing at me, declared, "There she is, gentlemen... the enemy. You will take her down in three, two..."

Quickly, I interrupted, "But if I am fighting your army of Skylanders, who will take our delicious pizza out of this very hot oven?"

With wide eyes and a look of outright panic, the Skylanders' once fearless leader jumped to action and ordered, "EVERYBODY BACK IN THE BOX!"