It's over. And...

I won, I won, I won, I won, I won!

Yep, that would be FIVE prizes for me at the old Bloggy Giveaways Carnival this time around. Talk about making up for last time! AND I found some really cool new blogs to stalk. Be sure to check these out...

* Be Thrifty Like Us - This blog is dedicated to helping you spend your money wisely. Be thrifty like us and stretch your money further!

* Cats and Coupons - Home, pets, coupons, shopping, budgeting, deals, savings, money, contests, reviews and life in general

* Don't Give Him Crackers - 20 something mom learning to raise my son, run my household and love my husband all while working a full-time job. Nap time anyone?

* Inside Fatherhood - Dads. An outlook on life.

* The Dance - Sandra

Who knows? You just might be entertained... or *gasp* learn something. Enjoy!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hold the line!

Well, once again, I was every-so-gently coerced into the world of bright lights and shiny things over at the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival. And, once again, I found some cool new blogs, and entered, quite literally, hundreds of contests. So, once again, I will sit here and wait for a flood of comments and emails telling me that I have won any number of said contests.

BECAUSE I AM A WINNER!

(Brought to you by the power of positive thinking.)

Pass the popcorn, please.

John and I have started watching a new show on Spike (television for men, and women who are not allowed to touch the remote). It's called DEA - as in Drug Enforcement Agency. Apparently, it's a learning show. I, for instance. have learned that I would not make a very good drug dealer.

And truly, this is one instance where, upon realizing a shortcoming, I feel no need for self-improvement.

Am I the only one who has noticed this?

No matter what time it is, if you flip through enough channels, you will eventually find an episode of COPS.

Wheredja go?

I'm going to be AWOL for a while. I'm over at the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival. Maybe this time, I'll actually win something. My luck has to change eventually... Right?

See ya there! ;)

The view from an old soul...

It's raining here today.

Now, I realize that blogging is a diversion of the younger set, but I have to tell you, I'm feeling me some Karen Carpenter on this double-whammy of a day.

Who are these guys in white coats?

This morning, while in the shower, I had an epiphany. You see, I've been trying for seven months now to figure out what kind of plan God might have in mind that has required John to be out of work for so long. And suddenly it occurred to me: American Idol. (I know, why didn't YOU think of that?)

For years, I have struggled with the possibility that I may be able to sing. I like to sing. I've always liked to sing. And, aside from my college roommate, nobody has ever asked me to stop when I was singing in their presence. The roommate thing was particularly disturbing however, because she was a music major, and I felt her perspective might just deserve a little more clout. (Of course, she also once told me that Alanis Morissette was tone-deaf and talentless. She was an angry music major.) But, I am one of those people who takes a burn to heart, and I kind-of closeted my singing for a while.

As I have gotten older, however, I have found more and more need to sing. John likes it. JJ loves it. And I'm pretty sure I don't care what the random person in the grocery store thinks anymore (crazy chick singing to the muzak, aisle 4). But I cannot say that I have the guts to get up in front of a bunch of people to sing karaoke, and this is why: I have seen American Idol. I have seen too many people who think they have genuine singing talent stand up and show that they are completely WRONG.

So, a few months ago, American Idol held auditions just a few short hours away from here. And in Marly's Imagination Land, I plotted a scheme to go to the auditions, lie about my age, and stand before Randy, Paula, and Simon, where I would sing probably a Christmas tune (because I am exceptionally good with those). And I would, once and for all, find out if my family is simply humoring me, or if I have actual singing ability.

Obviously (at least I HOPE it's obvious), I did not follow through with the master plan. But if I had, and if the judges had found me to be talentless, I would have simply come home, and been done with the whole project. However, if the judges had found me to be utterly WITH talent, they would have then given me one of those little magic pieces of paper that sends one to Hollywood, and I would have been on my way to weeks, if not months, of all that an American Idol contestant goes through in their journey to fame. And I certainly would not have been able to make that journey without John and JJ, which means that John would have had to take a lot of time off of work to come support me in my quest.

That's it! John has been out of work for so long, because if I had auditioned for American Idol, he would need to be with me in Hollywood at this time. It's so clear to me now. God is telling me that indeed, I can sing. And now that I have finally received His message, John should be free to be hired any day now. Can I get an "Amen"?

Time Out

You know, it's funny (interesting, not ha ha - well, maybe ha ha - I'll let you decide) that I spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think. Often about me, yes, but many times, just in general. I find it fascinating that ten different people can experience the exact same event, and come away with ten completely different interpretations of said event. Yet, with all of this thinking that I do, I have to admit that I haven't given much thought to what my readers are thinking when they read this blog.

Personally, I have been called the Queen of Sarcasm, and I feel like that title is especially fitting because I married the King of Sarcasm. And together, we reign over our kingdom of insanity and calamity with sharp tongues and often self-deprecating humor, that to an outsider, may seem a bit harsh. But truly, our vile and wicked wit is an excellent bonding and coping mechanism that works quite well... for us. Together, John and I stand and laugh in the face of whatever life may throw at us - because together, we know we are strong enough to handle anything (and neither of us finds crying very productive).

My very favorite analogy of our shared sense of humor (from my standpoint, of course) can be found here.

When I started writing here, my audience was a few close friends who know me (and my off-the-wall statements) quite well. Most of them also know John, and on several occasions, those friends have laughed with me as they said that they could actually hear one of us making whatever crazy comment I published. And, as many writers know (although perhaps not quite as many will admit), praise of our talents inspires a drive to further produce. So I find it exceedingly rewarding to find that, over time, my readership has grown. Tens of people (and I know this, because I can track you) are reading now!

And it suddenly occurred to me that some of you might not "get" me. So I just wanted to take a minute, to urge you, the reader, to take everything I write with a grain of salt - maybe two.

I married a 12-year-old.

John (to me, just minutes ago): "Be quiet! Nobody wants to hear you jabbering when there's NASCAR stuff on!"

Occasionally, I get a little personal.

To my dear friend Mike (who took it upon himself to call me tonight and tell me that it is time for me to write a new post):

Dude! This is MY blog! If you want to dictate when new posts should be published, you should maybe start YOUR OWN blog.

And truly, if I could have found a way to post this without actually creating a new post, I sooooo would have.

Much love,
M ;)

Things I have learned - so you don't have to:

1. A Galileo Thermometer is a very pretty object d'art to sit on an open shelf.

2. Cats are not as delicate and sure-footed as advertised.

3. The liquid inside a Galileo Thermometer object d'art is somewhat akin to baby oil.

4. A wood floor covered in a liquid somewhat akin to baby oil is VERY slippery.

5. Dogs are even less delicate and sure-footed than cats.

6. Three dogs all trying to traverse a slippery area together is HYSTERICALLY funny.

7. Cleaning a liquid somewhat akin to baby oil off of a wood floor is a proverbial bitch.

8. You slipping and sliding while trying to clean the floor is not so funny.

9. Especially when there is broken glass everywhere.

10. An unbreakable plastic thermometer is like, five bucks at Wal-Mart.

Luckily, we have not lost humor.

Yes, I suffer from PMS - 'cause I sure as Hell don't ENJOY it!

For those unfamiliar, PMS stands for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. It also stands for Post-Menstrual Syndrome. And, although I cannot, right at this moment, think of a word that starts with "P" and means "in the middle of" or "during", I am pretty sure I have that PMS, too. Quite frankly, I have about one good week a month... and this ain't it.

John commented last night that I have been rather bitchy this week, and I should perhaps look into an attitude adjustment.

I told him he that he has been rather fat this week, and he should perhaps get off of his ass and find a job.

Maybe we'll speak tomorrow.

Maybe not.

PMS, Anyone?

I am totally craving a cup of coffee. It's nearly 10:00 at night, and I don't have any decaf, so it would be kind of a stupid move to brew a cup of leaded joe right now. But I really, really want a cup of coffee.

With all of the crap we're going through, THIS is what is stressing me out right now.

Well, that, and one of the dogs just farted. Eeewwwww!