Who are these guys in white coats?

This morning, while in the shower, I had an epiphany. You see, I've been trying for seven months now to figure out what kind of plan God might have in mind that has required John to be out of work for so long. And suddenly it occurred to me: American Idol. (I know, why didn't YOU think of that?)

For years, I have struggled with the possibility that I may be able to sing. I like to sing. I've always liked to sing. And, aside from my college roommate, nobody has ever asked me to stop when I was singing in their presence. The roommate thing was particularly disturbing however, because she was a music major, and I felt her perspective might just deserve a little more clout. (Of course, she also once told me that Alanis Morissette was tone-deaf and talentless. She was an angry music major.) But, I am one of those people who takes a burn to heart, and I kind-of closeted my singing for a while.

As I have gotten older, however, I have found more and more need to sing. John likes it. JJ loves it. And I'm pretty sure I don't care what the random person in the grocery store thinks anymore (crazy chick singing to the muzak, aisle 4). But I cannot say that I have the guts to get up in front of a bunch of people to sing karaoke, and this is why: I have seen American Idol. I have seen too many people who think they have genuine singing talent stand up and show that they are completely WRONG.

So, a few months ago, American Idol held auditions just a few short hours away from here. And in Marly's Imagination Land, I plotted a scheme to go to the auditions, lie about my age, and stand before Randy, Paula, and Simon, where I would sing probably a Christmas tune (because I am exceptionally good with those). And I would, once and for all, find out if my family is simply humoring me, or if I have actual singing ability.

Obviously (at least I HOPE it's obvious), I did not follow through with the master plan. But if I had, and if the judges had found me to be talentless, I would have simply come home, and been done with the whole project. However, if the judges had found me to be utterly WITH talent, they would have then given me one of those little magic pieces of paper that sends one to Hollywood, and I would have been on my way to weeks, if not months, of all that an American Idol contestant goes through in their journey to fame. And I certainly would not have been able to make that journey without John and JJ, which means that John would have had to take a lot of time off of work to come support me in my quest.

That's it! John has been out of work for so long, because if I had auditioned for American Idol, he would need to be with me in Hollywood at this time. It's so clear to me now. God is telling me that indeed, I can sing. And now that I have finally received His message, John should be free to be hired any day now. Can I get an "Amen"?