I can't even figure out what to call this.

I love potato bread. Yet, I know that whole wheat bread is much better for me. So, when I go to the store, I buy Martin's Famous Whole Wheat Potato Bread.

I wish more things in life were that simple.

How cool do I feel tonight?

Last night, I tagged six people for a meme. It's a whopping 22 hours later, and three of them have already posted their own versions. And to make me even more excited, a friend I didn't even tag has also picked the meme up!

I really have no idea what that means, but it makes me feel good. Thanks, ladies! :)

Four Things

Over at My Second Journal, this meme ended with me being tagged! So, here we go...

Four place I go over and over:
Marly's Imagination Land
The Place of Senseless Worry
Rite-Aid
Walgreens


Four people who e-mail me (regularly):
John's mom
Karl
My mom
Spammers


Four places I would rather be right now:
Accepting a ginormous lottery check
Moved into our new home
On a cruise
Relaxing on my own island


Four TV shows/programs that I watch over and over:
The Office
Scrubs
Sesame Street
That '70s Show


Four things I have for breakfast:
Cake (when available)
Cereal
Fruit
Yogurt


Four animals I like best:
Cats - especially big ones
Dogs
Monkeys
Wolves


Four beaches I’ve been to:
Daytona Beach, FL
Myrtle Beach, SC
Ocean City, MD
Virginia Beach, VA


Tag 4 people (or 6 - 'cause I'm all about the rules):
Casey at Casey's Commentary
Nikki at Notes From Nik
Penny at A Little Of A Lot
Tracey at My kids are my life
Kelly at Our Many Mumblings
Frozen Star at Under Construction

Wordless Wednesday

Messin' with Kelly

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday a day early!

Eleven days shy...

... of one year between the day John was laid off on September 13th last year, and the day HE STARTS HIS NEW JOB on September 2nd of this year!

There is a lot of uncertainty ahead, as JJ and I will only see John on the weekends until the house sells and we move 150 miles to where he will be working. But I will take this uncertainty above the one we've been living in for the past year.

And I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have been there for us throughout this craziness. Your prayers, positive thoughts, kind words, and thoughtful actions have been what has made this ordeal bearable. Truly, we have been blessed by both the kindness of friends and of strangers.

Thank you!

Toddler television is a learning experience.

On Elmo's World this morning, Elmo interviewed a jacket (because his fish, Dorothy, asked him to). The jacket explained that she had sleeves and pockets. What goes in her pockets? Tissues and rocks.

Half of the things I saw as a daycare teacher were explained in one episode.

I forgot Wordless Wednesday!

To Whom It May Concern:

Please return my sanity as soon as possible. I do not have any money for it's ransom, but I do have an abnormal amount of junk for trade. Would you be interested in some back issues of several magazines, nail polish in gaudy colors, or half-empty bags of chips? Perhaps you would like some dead plants, a box full of expired coupons, or a cat? I seem to be surrounded by these things. I would gladly give them all to you in exchange for my ability to think straight, however.

I am eagerly awaiting your response.

Marly

Pardon me?

I think my hearing is starting to fail. Either that, or I'm slipping into some type of Freudian realm. A few examples...


During a commercial for a VOIP provider:

What I heard: "No nipples and dimes, like the phone company."

What was actually said: "No nickels and dimes, like the phone company."



During a commercial for a cleaning product:

What I heard: "Sometimes I play with my poops in the toilet."

What was actually said: "Sometimes I play with my boats in the toilet."



And by far the most disturbing - during a commercial for PBS Kids Sprout (toddler TV):

What I heard: "On The Goodnight Show tonight, we'll be learning about drugs and then sex."

What was actually said: "On The Goodnight Show tonight, we'll be learning about bugs and insects."

Quotes that mean something to me lately:

"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific." - Jane Wagner

"Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry." - George Ade

"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." - Dick Cavett

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams

"I have been described as a lighthouse in the middle of a bog: Brilliant but useless." - Connor Cruise O'Brien

“I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.” - Oscar Wilde

“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.” - Benny Hill

"Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." - Anonymous

"Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." - Author Unknown

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans” - John Lennon

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

"Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug." - Mark Knopfler

"What we're saying today is that you're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem." - Eldridge Cleaver

"You are entitled to nothing." - Patrick Jacobi

"You can't have everything... where would you put it?" - Steven Wright

The worst kind of peer pressure:

While rummaging through a cupboard, I found a bag of catnip. If you've never seen catnip before, it looks a lot like oregano... which (I hear) looks a lot like something else. I handed the bag to John, who regarded me with arched eyebrows, until I suggested that he refill some of the cat toys. He immediately walked into the family room, where all four cats were feigning aloofness, and asked, "Who wants to be cool?"

This is my 200th post.

Quick! Somebody bake a cake! Or better yet... how about 200 cupcakes? Then I could share them with all of you. After all, is there a better way to say "Thanks for reading!" than:

Maybe a career change is in order.

As we stood outside yesterday evening, John looked up at the sky darkening with clouds. "It looks like a storm's coming," he said.

"Yeah. The Weather Channel said it is supposed to rain tonight," I replied.

I had to smile as I barely heard him mumble under his breath, "I could so do that job."

Wordless Wednesday

Stuff

I haven't posted in a while because there has just been too much disorganized "stuff" going on my head. Please allow me to purge (like you have a choice - it's my blog)...

* If you've been reading the comments, you know that my sister sent me a picture that she would like me to post here. She says it is a wonderful picture of John and I... and she's half right. John looks fantastic with his big, burly self. I, on the other hand, do not. And I'm not sure why I am so very stuck in the land of the ridiculously vain, and cannot suck it up to post a picture in which I feel I look... really bad. But I am obviously having issues with the idea.

* John and I have decided that we would like to take a safari drive sometime. We would prefer not have an elephant sit on our car.

* If there is a disease that can be prevented by eating scrumptious local sweet corn, our family has no worries this week.

* I swear, in that picture, I look like I live in a tree and bake cookies for a living.

* This has been keeping me up at night. (I apologize for directing you to another host, but it is quite lengthy, and I did not want to re-post it here. Also, please note that Snopes's declaration of "false" refers to the fact that it was incorrectly attributed. However, the person to whom credit was given did pass the message at some point in time.)

* Next door, there lives a wonderful family, the matriarch of which is Carla. She is the only person for whom JJ will wriggle out of my arms and run, arms wide. Recently, he has taken to calling her "An LaLa" (Aunt Carla). Love it!

* I don't know whether to be flattered that my sister loves me so much that she cannot tell that this picture is incredibly unflattering, or worried about her eyesight.

* truTV's slogan claims that it is not "reality", but in fact, "actuality". Can someone please tell me the difference?

* My car is in the shop, and the dealership loaned me a Mercedes-Benz ML350. I don't want to give it back.

* Fine! Here's the picture:

Wordless Wednesday

He knows me too well.

For a while now, Pepsi has been airing a commercial featuring their "gift monster", a 60-foot tall abomination made up of things you can win by looking under the cap of your bottle of Pepsi product. In this commercial, a few friends are sitting on what appears to be the porch of a farm house. One of the people opens a bottle of Pepsi, and looks under the cap. Next thing you know, this conglomeration of stuff in monster form wanders out of a corn field, plucks a hat from himself, and hands it to the guy. The guy looks up and says, "Thanks".

After watching the commercial last night, John looked at me and said, with great sarcasm, "'Thanks.' That's what I'd be saying if that thing wandered into our yard."

"I'm pretty sure I'd have wet my pants," I said.

"Of course you would," John laughed, "That thing's made up entirely of FREE STUFF!"

"No, I think something of that magnitude would have me running away," I retorted.

"Maybe," John said, "But not before you asked it for a coupon."

Bring it on...

Let's fast-forward about 17 years (only 17 years?), and let me throw a hypothetical situation at you:

JJ has been accepted to a college about an hour away from home, where he is going to live in a dormitory on campus. He will certainly miss home, and we will definitely miss him. So, in an effort to make the transition easier for everyone, John and I have decided to rent a room and stay on campus with JJ for his first week at college.

Honestly... no holds barred... what do you think?

The kind of laughter that produces tears...

I ran across this today. I needed it... a lot.

Be sure to check out both pages.