Sunday, March 1, 2009

Unasked Questions at the Grocery Store

1. Exactly what makes it okay for you to park in the fire lane instead of the parking lot?

2. Could you please hold your reunion someplace other than the doorway?

3. Will you please ask your child to stop taking things out of my cart?

4. Are you going to pay for that empty soda bottle you just left on a shelf?

5. Do you even realize that there are other people trying to get down this aisle?

6. Did you not see me standing in line in front of you, or did you just feel that you were in a bigger rush than me?


KJae said...

And one that I've always wondered but have been too rude to speak about is:

Do you really need that motorized wheelchair or are you just fat and lazy? Cuz if you really needed it then you'd have your own!!

See, I can have this be an "unasked question" because I'm fatter and lazier than most of the population, yet I haven't EVER borrowed one of those.

I'm so mean. Sorry. But still.

Nikki said...

OK, here's one. I drive into the parking lot with my friend who has cerebral palsy and is a quadriplegic. There is a 20 something kid who pulls into the last handicapped parking spot and starts to RUN into the store. I stop and yell "Hey, you have no sticker and I need that spot, (I do have a sticker, and my friend!)." He says, "I'll only be a minute." Do I: a) sit there with my thumb up my ass until he comes back? b) drive around and look for another spot? c) leave my friend in the car and go kick the shit out of the kid?

KJae said...

Oooo, ooooo, ooooo - Pick C!! But call me first so I can come watch.

Marly said...

Nikki, I like to think I would pull my car up right behind that kid's car, and just wait for him. When he came out of the store, I would tell him, "I'm not moving until you come explain to my friend here why you felt your convenience was more important than his safety."

Oooh, or find a sympathetic friend in the PD who would be willing to show up and ticket him for something like that. ;)

I may be a wimp when it comes to my own issues... but mess with a friend, and I can get mean. Grrrr!