To Whom It May Concern:
Please return my sanity as soon as possible. I do not have any money for it's ransom, but I do have an abnormal amount of junk for trade. Would you be interested in some back issues of several magazines, nail polish in gaudy colors, or half-empty bags of chips? Perhaps you would like some dead plants, a box full of expired coupons, or a cat? I seem to be surrounded by these things. I would gladly give them all to you in exchange for my ability to think straight, however.
I am eagerly awaiting your response.
5 years ago